Baseball really is an amazing sport. It so eerily resembles life. So much so, that often times you take your frustrations from the real world and carry them into this fantasy world that is professional sports. You allow what is bothering you in one aspect in your life to impact others until your whole existence is nothing more than a giant forest of frustration and you get lost. I am lost.
Last night, filled with frustration of the world around me and the abysmal bullpen management of Scott Servais, I sent a tweet that was poorly received and multiple people called me out on it, telling me I had crossed a line. I realized that I was lost in this metaphorical forest and I probably have been for a while.
Now, I’ve seen a lot worse on Twitter. I didn’t think anything of it when I hit send. But the reaction I received was hard to ignore… and accept. Joe Doyle, whom I greatly respect, told me I had crossed a line. Jason Churchill of Prospect Insider, who has been a mentor of sorts to Ty and myself, unfollowed our account. My partner Ty asked me to change the way I tweet. And I know they weren’t the only ones feeling this way.
It was hard to hear these things from people I respect and a part of me was, at first, mad. Then, I became quite sad. I think of the recent interactions I’ve had on Twitter, and I don’t like them. It’s not what I wanted us to be. I’ve lost sight of a simple truth: baseball is a game. That’s all it is. Yes, it’s a game that I love and a game that I carry immense passion for, and that’s not going to change. But it is, at its surface, a children’s game meant to be fun. And that’s where I need to find myself going forward.
I can’t promise that I won’t get emotional and that I won’t get mad. I can’t promise that I won’t lay on the snark and question decisions or opinions. But what I can promise is a different way to express it on our Twitter. A way more indicative of how I envisioned ourselves when we started this journey almost one year ago.
Sometimes you need to go 3 innings and give up 10 runs before you realize that something needs to change, and for me, that change is getting back to basics. I won’t be tweeting during tonight’s game, but I’ll be back on Thursday, recharged and ready to start correcting our course. I hope to earn back the respect of some that I’ve lost as well as pick up some new recruits along the way. But most importantly, I just want to go back to having fun.
The first step in solving a problem is accepting that there is one. I’ve been a jerk lately and I’m sorry. I want to get the ship back on the correct course. And you better believe that I’m going to try.